Note to self

What did I do!!
Did it again didn't you?
Did I do enough?
There is always more to do.
Will I be okay?
Depends on what you think okay is.
Can't things just stay the same?
Same - That word is a lie. Nothing in this world at no moment is the same.
Can I make it work?
Not alone, you can't.
Will they help?
Depends, What's in it for them.
Why am I not happy?
Because you don't want to be.
What is happiness?
A chemical reaction in the brain.
What do I need for this reaction?
A catalyst.
I always hated chemistry.
Yes, no wonder you are not happy.
Does chemistry make people happy?
The subject, as in like the one taught in schools?
Yes.
No, it usually makes them quite sad actually. Well the majority of them.
What other chemistry is there?
The kind that makes people happy.
Is that taught in schools?
No. Its like affection. Its can't be taught you know.
What if I know no chemistry, will i be unhappy?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
Is that why I'm unhappy?
NO. And we are NOT doing this again.